Side Note, Real Talk..........Thoughts and Break Ups....

From time to time I post on things that have nothing to do with my hair. It's just how I feel at the moment so bare with me. My topic of discussion this post is relationships, marriage, divorce and real families. Now I know that everyone can relate to this in one way or another and hearing your personal thoughts can be helpful for me right now. The divorce rate is at 50% right now! Why is this? Mostly because some people do not show their complete true colors until after the marriage or even well into it after vows have been taken place. Promises made to your Dad, families and to each other at that point mean nothing. Then what, one or both of the individuals are left with the, what do I do now issue to deal with. Now we all know people who have no true coping skills to be honest and truthful. Something happens, a bad day at work, their tired, a headache and now you have to deal with their attitude and behavior. Then once their over it you should just forget everything said and done like it never happened. Craziness. A death in the family, divorce, a break up or job loss and they break apart completely. Now they have gone straight nuts, talking crazy. Acting like death is answer, these are the people who kill you, your kids and themselves. All because they are not getting their way and their pretending it's all your fault to their friends and family. Hitting holes in the walls, needing counseling, pills, or depend diapers under the age of 40. lol There is piles of cat or dog boo boo in every corner, clean and dirty clothes everywhere, nothing put up. Dirty floors and a bathroom you would not use at the park with a black tub. The house smells to high hell and bugs and bug eggs are everywhere. They just no longer clean their own house and have the nerve to invite guests over. They wait until the grass is having grass babies until they cut it or clean or spray all the overgrown weeds and let their own properties go straight to the pot. Only wipe their ass once every two days, turn into a hoarder, over buying needless crap. That covers every surfaces. When this happens they put their own children in a dangerous situation to even be around them in that environment and pretend like everything is o.k. However somehow the kids being around normal functioning people is an issue, Y? Y not admit that is not healthy and think of your children instead of thinking of their self?

Then they blame the other person for being this way, really?

I'm just not this type of person at all and I refuse to be due to another persons craziness. I do get emotional and sad and go through the whole process internally. I don't have to loose my mind in order to feel. If their madness sends me to jail, I will not be in a paper suit, peeing on my cell door. Getting beat up or going crazy. I will be alright, get me a book and survive until I get out cause I would not have deserved to be there. lol When people with children start disrespecting you in front of their own children. Bringing their bodies to an verbal battle or talking to you as if your a stranger and saying things that can't and that will never be completely forgiven. They don't truly care about anyone but themselves. They will never be able to admit it, no resolve will be meet and theres no change for a future together.

Now the divorce rate for a second marriage is much lower. If you choose to go back there again which most married people do. Most likely because you avoid the things up put up with during the first one? Who knows?

I just don't get why to some people that everything has to be so hard. I see some of these wedding shows where they are paying out 10,+ bucks for the wedding. Then in 6 months when stuff goes wrong or Mr. Right verbally abuses you, disrespects you as a person or hauls off and hits you. Ms. Right stops cooking, your eating a real meal maybe only once a week, quits her job and thinks that "she's married now", so she no longer has to do anything but have a child. You are left with bills to pay for years for a wedding that you no longer want to be in. A person your starting the truly dislike. We all come up with several reasons to stay, bills, but I think I love him or her, I don't want to start all over again with someone new or the sex is o.k. sometimes. The hassle of getting a divorce. Being a divorced person or for the kids, for the kids, for the kids. lol If things are not right after the first child why keep having kids with the same person. You know they will do the same stuff as the first time cause they thought that they did nothing wrong and refuse to admit they did for you to move past it then. Now two or three kids later you have even more responsibilities with them?

A lifetime of drama and internal depression. Y?

I don't get it and we all know many people born into a two parents homes of complete craziness. Yelling, name calling and fighting and secrets. Either that or a home of smiles and silents and no real discussion and minor hugs to go around. Those kids don't want kids in their lives as grown ups because they had to go to their friends homes growing up to be apart of a talking family. Both are families however they are dysfunctional families and still not ideal for children to be raised in. So why stay and put up with things that are never going to change and will most likely get worse with time for the rest of our natural born lives? I say don't do it, it's not worth it to waste your whole life in a bad situation! If you don't have family friends together or have a personal relationships with your in-laws after years where you can call and go with them alone that doesn't always involved your mate. Go to family gatherings and outing and not feel uncomfortable. A lifetime marriage will never work out.

We all as people know when a relationship or marriage isn't right. If you are not able to talk openly about everyday things and about real things. If you CAN'T talk to a person then there is no hope for the future. If a person becomes anger, gets instantly defensive, yelling, cuss you out, disrespecting you or jumping into your face are these things of normal behavior? Phyiscal abuse, mental abuse. I hope and know not! Or if the drama goes another directions, silence. Silence is so childish for anyone over the age of 20. When someone is silent you don't know what their thinking. If they have an uncontrollable temper then your just waiting for the bomb to hit and staying away from that person. Wondering if they plan to kill you all in your sleep. Or they are refusing to be able to have a real conversation that may not go their way. Blowing up your phone, going tho your phone records, putting listening devices in the home, following you and buying camcorders. Lying to their family and disrespecting yours. All for what? Why not just deal with the situation at hand. Break up, get divorced and move on with your life while we all still have one. Don't do things to try and take the kids cause they will hate you as an adult for being so selfish and thinking of only you later when it counts. Be better as a person, happy with someone new or be happy alone with some peace and maintain your new life. If you are unable to talk then why worry about the person talking to other people without the fighting. Face reality, it's over and done. Move on and act like an adult!

Don't have grown convos with a child, try to make them dislike the other. Be a liar with the your parents cause you will still have to be in contact with your ex's family for a lifetime. Your kids games, school functions, fiances, graduation and marriage and their children in the future. Let the person go, cut the bullshit, do what is best for your kids or self and try to be happy in this lifetime. There is a hard way to do things and a easy way where no one gets hurt and life continues while we all still have one.

If you care then show it by being a friend cause the union has ended. If you love something let it go, if it comes back it's your for sure. If you default and loose it again it was never your to keep.

Be happy, move on and become a better person.

Words to live by.

Thoughts or input or experiences to add anyone?

Summer Time Do.

6-23-2010

Right now I'm rocking a curly bob for the summer time. I've been locked for two years now and I still love my hair long or short. I went in the get my retighting some highlights done but my hair just will not dye. I've tried several times and the only thing that works is to beach my hair and then add color. Sense this is very unhealthy to do with locs I found hair mascara! It's great, you choose any color you want to rock. Blond, bronze ( my new fav) red or whatever. You run it tho your hair and you have color without the dye. It looks natural and it doesn't overpower your whole head. It just washes right out and allows you to stay natural so for someone like me who has jet black hair. Color is now an option.

I still don't use rollers or curlers and after the summer, growth will be welcomed.

I just had my 33 birthday on June 23rd and it was a lot of damm fun.

At this point I still have hairs that loves to come loose from time to time. In those areas I braid them together before washing and before going swimming also. Once a week I spray in a leave in conditioner onto my scalp and onto my locs to keep them healthy. I have started to wear a head wrap in addition to sleeping on a silk pillow case at night and use a shower cap in the shower each day. This is not something I always did before but I have found that it keeps my hairs natural sheen if done everyday. I also love to wear my hair in a pony tail and I use the bandies that don't contain any rubber. So far I can say that I have no regrets about getting loced and it has saved me so much time and effect that it's unreal.

Diet, diet, diet

So right now on most days it's hotter then a high priced whore outside!

So this means no over eating and then wearing half shirts outside while drinking a grape Slurpee and flirting at the gas station. I will be 33 yrs old soon so I have began a new diet just to slim down some cause why not right. When I was 25 I ate all the time and then after giving birth at 27 I still did and I stayed fit with some gym time. Now for some reason my breasts have decide to grow, con grads to me :-) But I feel the need to slim down to avoid the top heavy issue. You see when your a woman with large tasty breasts if you wear loose clothing it will hang from breasts causing you to look bigger than you really are. If you don't have a stomach you should wear tighter clothes to enhance your shape. However some people will think that you are trying to show your breasts by doing so. They are going to show no matter what you wear so chuck them. So this has brought me to this diet and to present day.

Now let's talk about healthy eating and salad bars. Now I went to the store with a friend one day and we were getting a salad from the salad bar. She is putting on eggs and fried chicken stripes and bacon, cheese and covering it with ranch dressing like she is painting the salad top with a brush. So I said, what kinda of salad is that? We should have just went to Burger King for you LOL, Am I right? Why do they put that yummy selection of crap out if it is support to be the healthy choice? Pepperoni and fried cheese should not be at the salad bar talking to people.

Like pick me, hey Big Butt, yeah, you, pick me.

I'm just saying, you put it there and it will get eaten. This pisses me off as a hungry person who can not eat a whole lot right now. Yesterday I saw this girl in a dark brown dress and mind you it's hot outside. The more I looked at her the more she started to look like coffee ice cream in a baked waffle cone. She most likely thought I wanted to eat her cause I kept acting like I was biting something and starring at her.LOL. Now that I think of it that would have been the dirtiest cone I have ever had. Wearing dark brown in 93 degree weather can't be good for anyone.

Damm it, I'm still hungry :-)
Anyone watching their weight?

Hair products used good and bad?

Sending out an SOS

I have a question, please let me know.

What hair products does everyone use in their hair and how often? If it's water, don't tell me LOL.................

What products have you used that weren't so good? Broke your hair, dried it out made you look like powdered donut?

I'm asking cause I see so many products but of course most are bad and some are good to use. I have not had any breakage or loose so that leads me to think that what I use does my good good but maybe I'm wrong and I need to use something new and exciting. Fill me in on the hair run down.

The Black Out!!

What's up All............

I have been blacked out temporary and missing in action!

OMG how time flys when your loced and not worried about the damm wind blowing.

I have been loced for two years now On April 1, no April Fools I really I have. My hair is thicker and fuller and growing. I have not had any breakage thank goodness but I am still having some slippage on the front and on the crown on my head. I have used different shampoos but I figure that you have to use what works for your hair. I love being loced but I don't love frizzy, dry or matted hair. I also don't want to looked loced at a glance cause I think that is the beauty of being loced. I believe I have continued to achieve that to this point anyway. I will upload some pics soon as possible but in the mean while I'm back and I will do better at posting and responding to my messages received.

So talk to me.