Wednesday, October 22, 2008

To Funny

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?

DEAR DESPERATE, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download
Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the
Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,
Happy Hour 7.0 or
Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend:
Cooking 3.0 and
Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck !
Tech Support


The Avartsy Poverty Foundation said...

Talk about being creative! I love it! Don't forget to add Patience 10.0 to the mix because beneath all the other applications is Love^100. Lingerie and cooking shd bring all that back to boyfriend 5.0. Husband 1.0 is an initial upgrade, an upgrade still being tested and not fully functional.
I also have sisterlocks, so if you visit my blog, don't get confused about the relation to poverty and sisterlocks! I'm one person with both interests!

Anonymous said...

This is an awesome post!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is an awesome post!!!!

3girlsmomma said...

OMG...I LOVE this post! My husband is an IT professional and I can't wait to have him read this. Too cute!

I'm sure HE'LL have his own UPGRADE packages and ADD-ON tools to this support inquiry & feeback.